If I Die Young

" A penny for your thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a goner"

Can we just talk about The Band Perry for a sec? This stupid song has been stuck in my head for days, so I figured I would share it with you guys and try to iron out some questions I had about it.

This is the most misleading song and video ever. I didn't realize this until Nate a good friend of mine and I were discussing it. The song is about a girl dying at a young age and her peculiar burial requests. She wants to be buried in cotton, while at the same time she wants to be sunk in the river. Please tell me, The Band Perry, how can the same corpse be both buried and sunk?

The video goes on and the lead singer, who will from this point forward be referred to as the CHG (curly-headed-girl), is walking with the guys that are carrying her burial canoe to the river. That's right, walking. If she died young, HOW IS SHE WALKING.

At the refrain, CHG has now changed her explicit requests, and she demands to be buried in satin. Woah woah now, they already had to splurge on a coffin AND a burial canoe because of your misleading lyrics, can't you cut mama a break? River sinkings aren't cheap.

Wait, real quick. Can we all just take a moment to pause the video at 1:58 to look at that guy's face? You're welcome. 

Ok so back to The Band Perry's beautiful story. Somehow the possibly dead CHG climbs into her burial canoe and continues to sing her beautiful medley. Then, she seems to doze off until she is alarmed by the water pouring into the boat. 

I'm confused by her alarm. Did she not understand what "sink me in the river" meant? It's pretty self-explanatory. So when she feels the water pouring in, she bolts up not once or twice, or even three times, but four different times. We get it, CHG, no need for the dramatics. 

Then the song continues, and she sings that we should "gather up our tears, and keep 'em in our pockets" so that we can save them for when we need them. That gets me thinking, was this whole thing a sick joke? CHG's mom is clearly distraught throughout the video so I don't think they clued her in. If it's not a joke, maybe it's some kind of a rehearsal or run through, on the off-chance CHG dies young? Or MAYBE she really did die and was reincarnated.. as herself? 

I have no idea, but it's definitely something to think about. (No it's not)