Dream Analysis: Part 1

Some people are really into dream analysis and interpreting the true meanings of their subconscious while they are unconscious.


Not me.
It's not that I don't believe in it. I think our dreams do tell us a lot about ourselves. I do not think they divulge dark secrets about our innermost thoughts, that's for the movies. But I do think our dreams help us visualize the problems that we cannot pinpoint during our hectic, conscious times of wakefulness.


It's not that I don't remember my dreams. On the contrary, I remember almost all of the dreams I have, at least towards the end of my REM cycle. No, the reason I do not spend a lot of time analyzing my dreams is because most often, they are too effed up to analyze. Sure, I have the occasional dream that I'm pregnant or that someone near and dear has died, but these dreams are a rarity. Most often, my dreams cannot barely be put into words when I try to explain them to my bewildered roommates the morning after.


Because of this, I thought that I might begin an installment of some of my most peculiar dreams, for you, my dear readers (i.e. my Dad). This whole idea began with a dream I had a couple of nights ago.


A couple of nights ago...
I can't remember how the dream started, but the end I can still visualize as clearly as the night I dreamt it. I was with some undistinguishable people and we were staking out Voldemort. Yes, you read it. He Who Must Not Be Named. He was in a sort of cave with some other bad guys, who I assumed were Death Eaters. They are not important though. Voldemort was very much the focus of this particular dream. Myself and the other Good Guys with me were peering in through a sort of hole and looking in on Voldemort.


Then, in the way that dreams often do, everything sort of shifted and I realized that Voldemort was possibly the same as Osama Bin Laden, at least in my dream logic. I don't really know. This was one part that confused me a lot, so perhaps it may be useful to do a quick compare and contrast.


Real Life

• Public Enemy Number 1: Osama Bin Laden
• Popular Bad Guy Hideouts: Caves (well I guess heavily guarded mansions, but just go with it)
• Recently Conquered Public Enemies: Osama Bin Laden
• Osama was able to virtually disappear for almost a decade
• Osama used jihad on innocent people 
• Osama hated non-Muslims     

Harry Potter Life

• Public Enemy Number 1: Voldemort
• Popular Bad Guy Hideouts: Murky places or anywhere less than desirable
• Recently Conquered Public Enemies: Voldemort
• Voldemort could actually disappear
• Voldemort used magic on innocent people
• Voldemort hated muggles

So I guess my subconscious wasn't that far off and was actually pretty insightful. Anywho, BACK TO THE DREAM.

So here I was with the Good Guys, peering into Voldemort/Osama's cave. Then all of a sudden, something we did (which at the moment escapes me) caused all of them to come running out of the cave. Once again, everything shifted, and kittens came running out from under my bed. 

At this point you may be a little puzzled, but allow me to give you some background. For a week prior to having the aforementioned dream, I had agreed to foster some kittens. FERAL kittens. In short, they were terrors. They literally destroyed everything I loved (ok maybe that's a little dramatic but they ATE MY FUCKNG BAMBOO. Bastards). It got to the point where I had to lie about my roommate's allergies to make the crazy cat lady take them back (that's a story for a different day). So even though the kittens were gone, I was still having anxiety about them. Even now i keep thinking I see them out of the corner of my eye. 

So that is where I think the kittens came into the story, because all these little monsters did was hide under my bed and destroy everything. But something was still amiss, because the head kitten still looked like Voldemort, and was just as scary as Voldemort. Then I remembered a video I had seen that day and it allllll came together for me. Please watch the following video before you continue reading:

So in summary:

1. Voldemort and Osama are the same person, or at least strikingly similar
2. My subconscious wishes I was either friends with Harry or a member of Seal Team 6
3. Those kittens are taking more of a tole on my subconscious than I was aware
4. I should not watch videos related to kittens and/or Harry Potter before bed.  

If I Die Young

" A penny for your thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a goner"

Can we just talk about The Band Perry for a sec? This stupid song has been stuck in my head for days, so I figured I would share it with you guys and try to iron out some questions I had about it.

This is the most misleading song and video ever. I didn't realize this until Nate a good friend of mine and I were discussing it. The song is about a girl dying at a young age and her peculiar burial requests. She wants to be buried in cotton, while at the same time she wants to be sunk in the river. Please tell me, The Band Perry, how can the same corpse be both buried and sunk?

The video goes on and the lead singer, who will from this point forward be referred to as the CHG (curly-headed-girl), is walking with the guys that are carrying her burial canoe to the river. That's right, walking. If she died young, HOW IS SHE WALKING.

At the refrain, CHG has now changed her explicit requests, and she demands to be buried in satin. Woah woah now, they already had to splurge on a coffin AND a burial canoe because of your misleading lyrics, can't you cut mama a break? River sinkings aren't cheap.

Wait, real quick. Can we all just take a moment to pause the video at 1:58 to look at that guy's face? You're welcome. 

Ok so back to The Band Perry's beautiful story. Somehow the possibly dead CHG climbs into her burial canoe and continues to sing her beautiful medley. Then, she seems to doze off until she is alarmed by the water pouring into the boat. 

I'm confused by her alarm. Did she not understand what "sink me in the river" meant? It's pretty self-explanatory. So when she feels the water pouring in, she bolts up not once or twice, or even three times, but four different times. We get it, CHG, no need for the dramatics. 

Then the song continues, and she sings that we should "gather up our tears, and keep 'em in our pockets" so that we can save them for when we need them. That gets me thinking, was this whole thing a sick joke? CHG's mom is clearly distraught throughout the video so I don't think they clued her in. If it's not a joke, maybe it's some kind of a rehearsal or run through, on the off-chance CHG dies young? Or MAYBE she really did die and was reincarnated.. as herself? 

I have no idea, but it's definitely something to think about. (No it's not)